"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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