She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
