So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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