i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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