To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
