I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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