pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we're making bets on your personal life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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