Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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