never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
where am i from again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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