White coat. Heels.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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