You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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