I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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