Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
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Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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