I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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