i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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