was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she looked like the before picture.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
