I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
