thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
