i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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