I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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