you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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