We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
