...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
