I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
