I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize