his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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