No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
