My friends, they love my intelligence
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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