Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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