Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
