You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
