He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
