You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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