im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
