well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
