I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
jump out the window naked night went bad
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
