rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if only i could text you this smell
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm at about main and main street
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
