rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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