Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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