so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
