Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
