so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
