lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
