TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
