the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
