...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
