I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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