i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
