your parents love me but you hate me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize