The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
