Swine flu. Run for my life!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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