I cannot find my penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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