She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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