There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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