Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
