1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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