dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize