Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize